You made me cry and you don't even care
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
