I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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