walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
