Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......