i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
