I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just invented taco cereal.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.