absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.