A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She even gives head with a lisp.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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