I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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