rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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