they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
