I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens