Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Boobs speak an international language.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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