At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
