In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize