i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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