Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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