If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
