I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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