i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
