My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
