yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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