I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
