please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize