Sponge bath it is.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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