Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
