I think I died a long time ago.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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