We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?