Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1400) Bad night (10109)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

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  (218): You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you http://tfl.nu/pqp2
  Replies (29) Good night (1371) Bad night (2160)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  We are no longer friends.

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  (613): New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands. (1-613): We are no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/wlk1
  Replies (28) Good night (966) Bad night (3638)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.

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  (985): BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART (601): Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know. http://tfl.nu/j9ff
  Replies (49) Good night (5481) Bad night (760)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

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  (615): I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know. http://tfl.nu/z1c6
  Replies (29) Good night (7945) Bad night (841)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me

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  (647): it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me http://tfl.nu/r4c5
  Replies (39) Good night (7746) Bad night (1407)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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  (253): Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out http://tfl.nu/bygf
  Replies (4) Good night (6519) Bad night (949)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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  (207): I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does http://tfl.nu/xjqc
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1654)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly

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  (773): Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly http://tfl.nu/8cgf
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (895)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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  (616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (636)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (400)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.

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  (618): I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great. http://tfl.nu/nq71
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (293)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.

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  (308): First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress. http://tfl.nu/t184
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (222)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam

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  (416): Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam http://tfl.nu/r47y
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (294)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.

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  (401): Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché. http://tfl.nu/g4lg
  Replies (0) Good night (179) Bad night (140)

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