Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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(972): the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool http://tfl.nu/pe2b

Replies (13) Good night (536) Bad night (853)
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(703): View more from Virginia

So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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(703): So... how did lowering your standards work out last night? http://tfl.nu/lq5v

Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (654)
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(845): View more from New York

i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7

(1-845): View more from New York

id pin you as more of an 8

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(845): i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7 (1-845): id pin you as more of an 8 http://tfl.nu/ua5n

Replies (14) Good night (2813) Bad night (710)
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(503): View more from Oregon

my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

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(503): my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew. http://tfl.nu/fdzr

Replies (88) Good night (5422) Bad night (791)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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(651): I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country http://tfl.nu/ju5o

Replies (9) Good night (5261) Bad night (857)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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(910): I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through. http://tfl.nu/z33k

Replies (14) Good night (1883) Bad night (4465)
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(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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(248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre

Replies (3) Good night (3010) Bad night (941)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...

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(803): He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not... http://tfl.nu/qcdb

Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (3007)
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(509): View more from Washington

Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.

(406): View more from Montana

Hospital.

(509): View more from Washington

I am invincible.

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(509): Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all. (406): Hospital. (509): I am invincible. http://tfl.nu/el46

Replies (10) Good night (2448) Bad night (1075)
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(646): View more from New York

still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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(646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252

Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (1565)
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(727): View more from Florida

I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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(727): I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am http://tfl.nu/ogdh

Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (1272)
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(779): View more from Illinois

I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.

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(779): I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/p354

Replies (13) Good night (1913) Bad night (1416)
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(941): View more from Florida

So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.

(941): View more from Florida

I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.

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(941): So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar. (941): I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/b83h

Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (639)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

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(908): Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up. http://tfl.nu/c97y

Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (350)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?

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(781): In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex? http://tfl.nu/6zay

Replies (9) Good night (413) Bad night (811)

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