Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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