let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.