In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
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I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen