Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.