How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.