can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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