i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
