Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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