sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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