i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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