and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
