I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
