I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
