Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize