Well apparently he's into motor boating.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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