I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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