Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
