she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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