The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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