Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Congratulations! We have a period
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
