Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
