Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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