im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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