the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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