im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
