u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
