I'm drive I can fine osifer
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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