Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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