I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
