i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
