Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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