Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Green mimosas i think yes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
