In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize