Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
