if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
