thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
