He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
