You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
