Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
