this beer tastes like vomit already
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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