Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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