Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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