I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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