I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
