So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
